It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize
