fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
Randomize