who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
Randomize
