if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
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