so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
Randomize
