clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
How did I get home last night?
We put your keys on a lanyard that asked anyone that found you to bring you home. A nice man in a cape, green shorts and a mesh shirt dropped you off this morning.
Oh. Yeah. Riiiggghhht
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