I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize
