so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
