Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
Randomize
