Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
Randomize
