Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
Randomize
