so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
Randomize
