I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
Based on my calculations, I should be blackout by approximately 11:14pm and that's when I need you to take my phone away from me. Mkay?
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
Randomize
