He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
Randomize