I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
my poor anus
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
Randomize
