Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
Randomize
