hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
Randomize
