Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
Your christmas gifts are already wrapped, how on top of my shit am I?
I'm hungover as fuck and had to break into my own house by throwing a cinder block through my back door at 4am. You're more on top of your shit than me.
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
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