She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
Randomize
