my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
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