Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
So I'm dropping a fat deuce at work, and the lock on the stall door slips and the door slides open, when suddenly someone comes in. Now I have two options, I can either get up quickly and try to shut the door quickly (not easy to do with one hand) or I can just sit there and play it off like it's no big deal and I always dump at work with the door open. I chose option two, and it was as awkward as it sounds.
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
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