Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
I need to keep a secret stash of instant alcoholic margaritas for when i deal with people. For example, right now, im grading, and I just don't fucking care any more. My students should make a thank you card for Jose Cuervo.
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Randomize
