did you get engaged???
How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
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