So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize