Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
it was like eating out sand paper
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
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