So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
Small penises have feelings too.
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
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