3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
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