A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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