8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize