so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
