mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
Randomize
