i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
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