He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
Randomize
