i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
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