Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
someone get that fucking seahorse.
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
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