My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize
