Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Randomize
