Kareoke will never be a sober sport
Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
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