Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
When are your genitals available?
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
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