Dual....:-)
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
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