That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
There r osticjed everywhere
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
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