Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
