Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
Randomize
