Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Randomize
