he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
Randomize
