This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
Don't worry, your car is safe with me. I am throwing watermelons out of it at mailboxes and hipster kids.
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
is that a dick in a sweater?
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
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