What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
It's a sad day when ur phone automatically updates u on Thursdays that traffic is normal and how long it will take to get to the bar
That's fucking great actually
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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