addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
Randomize