STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
Why is there broken glass in my purse?
You stole a snow globe. From your VP. Soooo...maybe don't put all your hopes on that promotion you were expecting
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
Randomize