I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
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