he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
Randomize
