While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
Randomize
