After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
I'm gonna buy my dress an hour before wedding. You know, just to make sure it's gonna really happen.
T'would be a shame to waste that open bar though. They shouldn't do that to us. We've been having to pretend we're happy for two people who got engaged a week after they met.
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
Randomize
