But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
