if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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