haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
I didn't notice because vodka
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
Randomize
