This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
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