i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
my phone is set on vibrate and its tucked up in my left front pocket. call me back 20 times real quick.
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
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