"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
... thanks for letting me perform minor surgery on myself last night.
I figured if you were smart enough to sterilize with vodka, you could handle it.
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
Randomize
