doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
Next year, please remind me not to be at a damn Super Bowl party with screaming children whose parents can't control them. I will sell the little suckers to the fucking circus passing through town.
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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