She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
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