You don't have asthma, your pregnant
My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
Randomize
