at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
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