just survived the first fart of the relationship.
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
Blow job season was short but glorious.
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
Randomize