So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
Randomize
