I thought you should know that you passed out in your trash can last night.
Thanks for throwing up on me.
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
Randomize
