i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
Randomize