Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
Randomize
